SIX REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD EMBRACE BEING FORTY

My daughter and I were debating the age old question of teen girls vs moms. I complained, "You guys have so many groups! The jocks, hipsters, nerds... You kids don't know who you are." 

She looked at me as only Bella can—serious, yet full of sassy rebellion.  Then she clapped back, "Well, for you guys it's easy. You only have one group—old and wrinkly."

And so we got into it. If you are forty and up, read on and embrace your experience and worldly perspective. If you're a teen, keep worrying that everyone is talking about your lazy eye behind your back.

1. Acne—Teens freak out over it, but I love it. The bigger my breakout, the younger I look. Don't tell me that's not true and that I need to see a dermatologist, Bella. Because while you were talking, I turned down the hearing aid you think I need, so I couldn't hear a word that you said.

2. Periods—We can agree that PMS and cramps are the worst, but for those of us with kids that are finally in high school and beyond, periods mean not having to change diapers. Read that again. #freedom

And those of us with teenage girls feel the same relief when they get their period. It's a crazy, hormonal cycle that eventually ends in hot flashes and yearnings for grandchildren—as long as they come with their own poop handlers.

3. Tanning (or lack of)—We worry about getting skin cancer and dying, while teens think that skin cancer won't ever affect them. 

But acne? Teens believe that the tiny breakout on their foreheads is really all over their bodies. And the only cure? Some Clearasil and a deep dark tan.

4. Being Looked At—Teens will Snapchat selfies all day long. But looking in their direction for longer than a millisecond is "embarrassing", "creepy", and "OMG everyone is staring at the huge zit on my chin!"....even (especially) if you're the teen's parent.

For those of us who are forty and over, if someone looks at us longer than it takes to mumble, "Sorry ", after bumping into us (because at this age we're virtually invisible), it's considered the best day ever.

5. Caring About What People Think—Teens do. If forty somethings did, we'd be perpetually tan and there'd be an honest to goodness law about fanny packs in place that would be punishable by death.

6. Love—This is something we can agree upon. Sometimes our partners are way different from us, but we want to love and be loved anyway. That is one of the things that always bridges the gap between our generations—along with shoes, ice cream, chocolate, and eventually wine.

CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a quirky group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor's office. Her first novella, SUKI, is published by Shorehouse Books and has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States.

You can now order SUKI in paperback on Amazon or at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com or by calling (631) 271-1442. Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE http://www.bookrevue.com/localauthors.html
More posts like these can be found at Humor Outcasts and The Patch where she is a regular contributor.

CF Winn is the founder of Winning! Publications, a firm specializing in editing and promotion services for authors. Her latest project is the just released Trailer Trash, With a Girl’s Name, a hilarious and heartwarming story of a boy saddled with a girl’s name and forced into a nomadic existence. Order it now: http://www.amazon.com/Trailer-Trash-With-Girls-Name-ebook/dp/B00IX0MIAO

BEING HAPPY

Recently, I stumbled upon an interesting article: Can You Be Happy For 100 Days In A Row? At first I thought, Of course I can! What a ridiculous question! but then I read further. The phrase Every day submit a picture of what made you happy! jumped out and tackled me before I could navigate away. As the reality of the commitment the site was asking me to make sunk in, I realized that I couldn't even name one thing that made me happy in the past week. Except for sleep. Being able to shut off the stress of the day by simply closing my eyes made me downright ecstatic. I figured I'd better get on this stat.

I will be posting on my own site, in my own way. Sometimes I will share a picture, but other times it may be an anecdote or just a phrase. Every day, for at least 100 days, I will share something that made me happy - really happy.

This is my journey to happiness: 
DAY 3:

Posing for pictures has always been a problem. As a kid, one blowing out the birthday candles shot would take ten minutes of set up and fifty critiques from my mother. A photo session would always end in fighting and sometimes tears. Forty years later, I am awkward, insecure, and anything but friends with the camera. My kids are constantly yelling at me to "Smile Mom!" and "Stop making that weird face Mom!" It sounds just like when I was younger, except that there is encouragement behind their exclamations, rather than disappointment and disdain.

My children are naturally beautiful, but they are also shining examples of what I long to be - free spirited and proud of who they are inside and out. On days like today, when things don't go smoothly and I'm overwhelmed with tasks to complete, I turn to them to distract me and show me what happiness looks like when I forget. My heart swells when I watch them taking crazy selfies for Snapchat or Instagram and sometimes I let go and join in because around them, happiness is contagious. 

                                       

     
                                                                                                  

CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a quirky group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States. 

You can now order SUKI in paperback at http://hopress-shorehousebooks.com/cf-winn/  or at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE. 

CF Winn is the founder of Winning! Publications, a firm specializing in editing and promotion services for authors. Her latest project is the just released Trailer Trash, With a Girl’s Name, a hilarious and heartwarming story of a boy saddled with a girl’s name and forced into a nomadic existence. Order it now: http://www.amazon.com/Trailer-Trash-With-Girls-Name-ebook/dp/B00IX0MIAO 

 

 http://www.gofundme.com/577n90

   

5 Things That Made Me LOL

For the past few months, I've laughed as much as possible each day. No matter what else goes on regarding money, relationships, or any other challenges I run into, I've been blessed with a great sense of humor and three comedians that happen to live in my house. Sometimes the fun comes from outside forces, but even then, I know I can go home and share it with people who appreciate what really matters- the crazy joy of the belly laugh.

When you're looking for something, it shows up everywhere:

1. I woke early on Sunday morning, surprised that the school year had already taken effect and that sleeping in past 7:30am would be an impossibility, even on the weekend. I stumbled down the hall, looking for other creatures of habit, awake and restless with boredom. I found no signs of life, but I did find a sign:
 

2.We went to the supermarket with a $20 budget for dinner. Max and Bella decided to share frozen chicken tenders, my oldest daughter, Ali, chose a California Pizza Kitchen cheese pie, and I got a bunch of vegetables to saute for myself. After scarfing down the pizza at 4:30pm, Ali stood close to my shoulder, watching me chop the veggies and chattering away at me.

When I was ready to eat, she asked, "Can I take some vegetables?"
I said, "No, you decided on frozen pizza and you watched me prepare everything without offering to help at all."

Fifteen minutes later, she asked again and got the same response. Ali paused, and then said, "Mom, you're my least favorite because you won't give me vegetables." My fourteen year old son was walking by the kitchen and added, "Said no kid ever."


3. In our house there is the athlete (youngest daughter), the artist (middle son), and the drama queen (oldest daughter). As you can imagine, the oldest is one of those people who is completely over the top. It could be the fact that she's a Scorpio, but I'm betting on it being because she's a teenager who is really into drama. The theater kind. On stage.

She and my son are pretty close. They chose lockers at school near each other and hit the deli up in the morning for breakfast. Word on the street is that my freshman even has a date for the senior prom, one of her friends. I'm pretty happy with the fact that Ali is not embarrassed to hang out with her younger sibling.

Max left this pic off of ASK FM

As I type, they are cooking dinner for themselves and rapping Lip Gloss by 'Lil Mama, when Ali suddenly gets serious.

Ali: "Max are you going to join the Musical?"
Max: "No."
Ali: "Why not? It'll be fun. And I'll be doing it with you."
Max: "I don't want to."
Ali: (Holding him by his shirt collar, gritting her teeth, and growling): "If you don't join the Musical, I will wait until we're older, sneak into your house, and kill your firstborn."

Intense much?


4. Bella's superpower is getting other people to do for her what she should do for herself. I've caught myself getting sucked in from time to time, but as part of my 2013 New Year's Resolutions, I vowed to build up an immunity to her powers of persuasion. That and I think that my contract for cleaning ear wax was up in 2007.

After scarfing down an apple and twenty pizza rolls, my very active eighth grader was still hungry. She asked me to warm up some leftover egg noodles for her, but I stayed strong...and I was busy. She pouted and asked me again.

This time I was annoyed that she was throwing her baby face around. "No Belle. And stop asking me. Do it yourself."

She never got up from the couch (where no doubt Sam and Cat were holding her hostage and keeping her from warming up her own food) but made eye contact with Ali, who was across from her on the other couch, watching the exchange.

With a straight face Bella said, "Ya know, the help is here is sooo bad."


5. This morning, Max and I were getting ready together. He just got a haircut which means that he's obsessed with the mirror, probably because some anonymous peeps posted that he's "hot" on some new social kid zone thing called ASK FM, after he uploaded some selfies.

We were sharing the mirror in the bathroom because it is large enough to accommodate me putting on make up, but not him spraying hairspray that had nowhere to go but in my mouth. After I stopped choking and was able to breathe again, I tried to reason with him.

Me: "Max, that's a lot of hairspray you're using there. You don't have long hair like the girls. You shouldn't have to use that much."
Max: "Mom, If I don't use enough, then my hair just falls."
Me: "I'm convinced that you are contributing to the destruction of the ozone layer and climate change. The next time a Hurricane Sandy-type storm hits, and thousands of people are without homes and power again, I'm pointing a finger..."
Max (defensively): "Well I wouldn't use it like that if my hair wasn't all like, 'Style me', and I wasn't all like, 'OK'".

Click here to read 5 MORE THINGS THAT MADE ME LOL:
  http://simplystick.blogspot.com/2014/12/5-more-things-that-made-me-lol.html

CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a quirky group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States. 

You can now order SUKI in paperback at http://hopress-shorehousebooks.com/cf-winn/  or at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE.  

Her blogs have been syndicated on multiple sites including The Masquerade Crew. More posts like these can be found at Humor Outcasts and The Patch where she is a regular contributor.  

FOLLOW me on Twitter, Facebook, Google +, and CF_Winn on Instagram.