An Open Letter To My Graduating Senior

Dear Punkin,

The day that you were born, the Yankees won the World Series, wildfires ravaged California, but I slept. I played the just gave birth card and took advantage of the hospital staff so I could rest. Little did I know that those would be the last three hours of decent sleep I'd get for the next eighteen years.

After waking up and coming off the look what my body can do high, I watched you nurse just inches from my heart. I sighed and kissed your head, filled with love for someone I barely knew. And that's when it happened.

I was struck with the clearest, sanest thought I've ever had--an epiphany of sorts: Whose great idea was it to give me a baby?? I thought God can see everything. Surely he didn't miss that cactus that died of dehydration on my kitchen table?

Luckily, I love a good challenge, so even when you were a month old and I found you blue and struggling to breathe in your crib, I didn't wait for the paramedics. Your father called them while I pounded on your back, tried to give you Baby Heimlich, and even put my fingers down your throat to pull out whatever was choking you. I kept thinking, Oh hell no. I am not going to fail at having kids only one month in. This is not happening. Not on my watch. 

As soon as the EMT's came in, you let out the loudest, smelliest burp ever, then laughed and began breathing normally again. Unfortunately, I was standing right in front of your mouth when it happened. But after they revived me, I knew you were an overachiever. #proudmama

Good times. And they just keep coming. So now, as you are hitting a new milestone and are about to jump into adulthood, many speeches and letters like this one are being written and recited. All full of advice about what you now need to know and the lessons you have to learn.

I can't do that. That doesn't work for me because everything you need to know--the building blocks upon which all other lessons are learned--I taught you and reinforced every day that we have lived under the same roof.

So consider this a reminder:

1. You Matter

Although I cradled you when you came into this world, the trip here was all you. I pray that someone will be there to hold your hand when you leave, but again, that journey is yours, as is all the stuff in between. The only thing that matters every second of every day is your happiness. If you make that your priority, then you will have all you need. I'd say that your first step toward happiness was choosing me as your mother, and in that case, we both won. Good start.

2. Family

Friends may come and go, but you are stuck with us forever. Your siblings know your good, your bad, and how much it will take to keep them quiet about it. As your mom, I am the best friend you will ever have, because no matter how much you may hate or disagree with some of my rules, you can always trust that I make and enforce them with only what's best for you in mind.

3. Trust and Love Yourself

And we're back to you.You know what you want, you are smart enough to get what you want, so never doubt yourself because you're worth it. Your confidence has carried you this far, and I'm impressed. I trust you completely--except when you say I look old...but nobody's perfect.

That's it. That's all you need. Everything else fills itself in when you make those three ideas the base for which you live.

I love you, I am proud of you, and I see great things for you. If you ever lose your way, I am here. I may not be the best map reader on road trips, but for you, I will do everything in my power to get you back on track--especially one that will never involve putting me in a home.

Love you Forever and Always,
Mom

CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a quirky group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States. 

You can now order SUKI in paperback at http://hopress-shorehousebooks.com/cf-winn/  or at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE. 

CF Winn is the founder of Winning! Publications, a firm specializing in editing and promotion services for authors. Her latest project is the just released Trailer Trash, With a Girl’s Name, a hilarious and heartwarming story of a boy saddled with a girl’s name and forced into a nomadic existence. Order it now: http://www.amazon.com/Trailer-Trash-With-Girls-Name-ebook/dp/B00IX0MIAO 

The Search For Colleges: NYU #EpicFail

My high school senior, Ali, did very well when it came to the college search. She was accepted at multiple institutions and was offered scholarships and other prestigious awards. 

She's thrilled. I'm proud. My youngest daughter is taking measurements of their bedroom. Because Izzy is an athlete, that space will become the place where sports dreams come true...aka her locker room.

Although physical activity has never really been Ali's thing, those girls and their dirty laundry have got that smell perfected. Imagine that sweat and shin guards fell in love and had a baby that never bathes. Welcome to where my girls lay their heads at night.

I've warned Izzy that it's going to take some major discipline and commitment on her part to keep the stench at that level without her sister's help. Every time I say that and she stalks off, I can't help but feel proud of her determination.  

Despite her many acceptances and accolades, my daughter's college search was not always as seamless as it might have appeared to my Facebook followers.

She applied to NYU, and even though we live close enough to visit the campus easily, Ali's busy schedule forced her to set up a Skype interview with a woman from the Admission's Department.

On the day of, my daughter dressed and applied makeup even though on her free days she prefers to stay in her pajamas. She forced herself out of bed before noon, tortured us all with her hysteronics (a word I have coined to describe my children when they are beyond their normal level of hysteria and loudness), and spent hours making sure the camera on the lap top worked perfectly.

Over in NYUland, the Admissions Officer, Ms. K, was having technical difficulties. Her camera wasn't working properly, so Ali relaxed a bit, thinking she couldn't be seen at all. Little did she know that the camera worked sporadically, as did the computer speaker over at the University.

  

Ms. K asked Ali why she thought she'd be a good fit at NYU. Ali answered: 

"I (static) know who you are looking for. I (static) know exactly what you want (blackout) in an incoming student. If you are looking for someone (static) awesome, I can tell you I don't have (static) funny (blackout) stories about how I was trained. But what I do have are a very particular set of (brief blackout) acting skills; skills acquired over a very long career (blackout) in the arts program in my school. Skills that make me a (static) dream student for (brief blackout) admissions people like you. (blackout) My mother would say, 'If you let my daughter go (static) to your school now, that'll be the end of (static) our search.' (blackout) She's right. I will not look (static) for any other places, I will not pursue (static) other choices,(blackout) because I'll have you. But if you don't, I will (brief blackout) continue to look, (blackout) and I am good enough to find other institutions,(static) and a place where I will kill it. (static and blackout) Thank you."
  
Because her equipment wasn't working right and she could only hear about every fourth word or so, (and some of those were even distorted due to static) Ms. K heard the speech that Liam Neeson gives in the movie, TAKEN:

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."
  
Ali knew something was wrong. She could tell by the faces Ms. K was making. 

But what she didn't know was that as she moved around, much more relaxed because she thought she couldn't be seen, the faulty camera on Ms. K's end played tricks on her eyes. When Ali crumbled up the paper with her notes on it and tossed it at the wastebasket, it looked like she was throwing a grenade. When she adjusted the lap top a bit, it seemed like the world outside the window behind her was exploding.

Not long after, the rejection letter arrived in the mail.

We considered appealing and explaining that the speech was really Ali's audition monologue. The restraining order they included was just further evidence that she was a perfect fit for the acting program. In the end, it was just too hard to get in touch with anyone after the University changed all of their phone numbers and email addresses....is NYU even still in New York?

 

Where'd everybody go?

 

CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a quirky group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States. 

You can now order SUKI in paperback at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE. 

More posts like these can be found at Humor Outcasts and The Patch where she is a regular contributor. 

CF Winn is the founder of Winning! Publications, a firm specializing in editing and promotion services for authors. Her latest project is the just released Trailer Trash, With a Girl’s Name, a hilarious and heartwarming story of a boy saddled with a girl’s name and forced into a nomadic existence. Order it now: http://www.amazon.com/Trailer-Trash-With-Girls-Name-ebook/dp/B00IX0MIAO