THE BEAT OF THE RAIN

I mistook the rain for my heartbeat until the sky lit up and the gentle drizzle picked up speed. Instantly, its rhythm resembled a sprinter, not a being fully embraced in serenity.

My forehead felt cool against the glass. I stared through the drops, dazzled by how easily they became stunning kaleidoscopes, nature’s gift for the truly blessed. When my eyelids began to droop, I knew that I was at peace. My lashes overlapped, and I rested, as my soul succumbed to nature’s melody.

Used with permission from Microsoft

He crept up behind me and gently wrapped his arms around my waist, never disturbing my reverie, but instead becoming part of it. Soft lips rested on my shoulders and my head leaned comfortably on his chest. I immersed myself in his musky essence. Our breathing converged, and eventually kept time with the melodious pattering on the roof above.

Trails of liquid on the picture window became glistening sequins, dancing in the spotlight created by the candle on the table behind us.

He adorned the top of my head with butterfly kisses and caressed my bare arms. Goose bumps tickled me, and I shivered as I twisted around in his arms. I brushed my lips on his, puckering only slightly as I continued past his mouth and traced the muscles along his cheek toward his ear.

When he pulled away, I was surprised.

We had only separated for a moment before he hugged me gently and whispered, “You are so beautiful”, a secret he had just then found the courage to reveal.

I smiled and snuggled into him, knowing that even if we shared the same skin I wouldn’t be able to get close enough.

I loosened my embrace to kiss him fully on the lips. My hands cupped his chin and cheeks, my need to be one with him growing strong. As if on cue, the rain applauded our union by creating the perfect background music.

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That, my sweet, perfect angel, is how you were conceived.

It’s the tale I choose to tell as I cradle you gently on my lap, in my wheelchair. It’s the same story I tell myself when I want to forget how jagged and cold the cement felt against the back of my head when it was slammed hard, then rubbed raw and bloody.

The rain I amorously recount almost lulls me into a dreamless sleep, never pounding my face and catching in my eyes the way it did when I dared to peek and see if the massive stranger that had tackled me was finished beating and violating my crumpled body.

I will repeat it to you over and over again, praying that one day, if you find out the truth, you will believe that despite my broken spine and visible scars, I will never regret the attack that blessed me with you. Your presence is as exquisite as the story I tell, the gift a random rapist never intended to bestow on me, but for which I will nevertheless be eternally grateful for.


CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a hilarious group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor's office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States.

You can now order SUKI in paperback at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com or by calling (631) 271-1442.
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