Monday, June 23, 2014

Where in the World is Roy G. Biv??

Roy G. Biv had the right idea when he made the rainbow - keep it simple. 

Seven colors are plenty, and if you need some variety, tie dye something. It worked for a while, when times were simpler and Firebirds were cool. Muscle cars trumped station wagons--the end. That's as complicated as it got.

Then technology and hipster smart asses came in and mucked it all up. Suddenly Violet wasn't good enough, and Pep In Your Step nail polish became the color du jour--as if it didn't make me think of the supplements I take so that I don't fall in asleep in my lunch. It shouldn't be purple. It should actually be a fluorescent yellow or green--like my pee after I take my mid-life vitamins.    

Why is red not good enough?

I'm no color prude; I'll allow you light red, Crayola Crayon red, and dark red, but I draw the line at "Over and Over A-Gwen". What part of that name indicates that it's a shade of red?? How can I run into the store at the last minute and grab the perfect lipstick to match my mary jane platforms if there's not even a witty play on the word red to give me a clue?

According to Kissmetrics, color affects purchases more than sound, smell or texture. If this is true, then consumers need help.

My son and I were in CVS yesterday and were so overwhelmed by the color choices that we decided it was time we took back the rainbow and created our own makeup line, BODY MOVEMENTS. Since we're competing with mascaras that are black, ebony, barely black, nearly black, and wanna be black although I'm actually grey, we have to ditch Roy G. Biv for descriptions that really stick with the consumer. And how do you create five different shades of black anyway? Answer: You stick obscure names on the same hue and think you're fooling everyone.

So BODY MOVEMENTS will be compiled of colors that are not only distinct, but will burn an image into the brain of the customer. For example: Chipotle Run Mascara, Breastfed Baby Eyeshadow--yellow powder with chunks of glitter, Buckets of Bile Nail Color, Chapped Lips Gloss, and Stop The Violence Blue Eyeliner.

In the end, it's all about the impression you leave with your demographic. 

Our product line takes Going Green to a whole new level: Is Nose Booger perfect for your special night? Or maybe Spoiled Stomach will finally get him to propose....

CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a quirky group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States. 

You can now order SUKI in paperback at  or at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE. 

CF Winn is the founder of Winning! Publications, a firm specializing in editing and promotion services for authors. Her latest project is the just released Trailer Trash, With a Girl’s Name, a hilarious and heartwarming story of a boy saddled with a girl’s name and forced into a nomadic existence. Order it now: 

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