Thursday, April 11, 2013

ARE YOU A GIVER OR A TAKER?

Recently, Joan Rivers got all fired up and decided she was going to dance on Johnny Carson's.....plaque. She was mad. The kind of mad that made someone want to dance on someone's grave..if they had a grave to dance on. The two funny-makers were close for a long time, but after Joan got her own show, Johnny stopped talking to her...for twenty years. Then he died.

So after discovering that he was cremated and that she, along with most of LA had probably breathed in, swallowed, then pooped out his ashes, she decided to find his memorial plaque and dance on it.


Because the internet is so magical, her search was easy, and she set out to Cha Cha on top of the Daddy of Late Night. When she got to Johnny Carson Park, there he was, his face and name etched in stone and she, still limber enough to Tango all over it. Hell, she could've given some of those ashes she'd inhaled back in a few creative ways, and what could Johnny do about it but watch and maybe haunt her later that night?

With no one but a cameraman and a lone friend to witness, she looked his bust square in the eye, took a deep breath....and reached out and caressed his cheek. She sent her companion to buy some flowers and sat down next to the rock carved desk and cried for Johnny. She told him that she missed him and asked him why he stopped speaking to her. She chatted with him as if not a day had passed and then told her friend that she owed him everything because he gave her her start.

I believe that every person that blesses us with friendship, love, and kindness should be regarded in this same way. We are shaped by every interaction, and the deeper the connection, the more of an effect it has on us. Respect those relationships, and hold onto them tight, because they could be gone at any moment.

Today I was thinking about an old friend named Dwayne. Although he had faults like anyone else, he was a great guy.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BJVSHPE
A few years ago he died and I was surprised at just how sad it made me. We were very close once upon a time, best friends in fact, but at the time of his passing, we hadn't spoken in about fifteen years. It wasn't because we'd had a falling out...our lives just drifted apart. We met significant others, had babies, and eventually, he moved a few continents away.
 
The thing about Dwayne was that he was a good person. A really good person. The kind that never considers what's in it for him when he acts on someone's behalf. He was the type to fly under the radar until he passed away....then as he watched from his new vantage point, was surprised to see a line of mourners at his funeral, and shocked to hear that people he didn't even know were still talking about him, years after his death. 

Once he saw a guy beating up his girlfriend. They were in a bad neighborhood, and he didn't know either of them, and without thinking of his personal safety, Dwayne came to the aid of the girl. There was a scuffle, but he was successful in running the guy off. The girl was able to continue packing up her car and leaving that creep for good because of one kind act.

I thought about him while I was on the road today. I was at a red light and I glanced around like I always do: some girl was texting, an elderly gentleman gazed off, his brow furrowed with worry, a
crazy looking dude was poking each of his ten fingers up his nose....but when I casually looked in my rear view, I swore the driver behind me was Dwayne. I did a double take, and realized it wasn't and couldn't be, but then...as thoughts tend to do...mine took over.

I noticed that for me, there's a hole in the world where he belongs. I wasn't feeling like I missed hanging out with him, because we hadn't, for a really long time. It just seemed like there was a little less positive energy floating around than there should be, and while Heaven has gained a tremendous presence, this Earthly plane has lost a little spark.

I remembered how much I respected him for all of the kind words and acts he gifted others with, and how many times I'd wished that I could be more like him. Then I wondered how many of us have that? Is there at least one person that you feel that way about?

But even more importantly, have you lived your life in a way that you will be remembered and respected for your integrity and compassion? What stories will be told about you after you've passed? Will those left behind want to dance around your grave in celebration of what you gave, or will they want to shake their booties ON it, laughing about how much of you was wasted?



 CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a quirky group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor's office. Her first novella, SUKI, is published by Shorehouse Books and has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States.


You can now order SUKI in paperback on Amazon or at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com or by calling (631) 271-1442.
Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE http://www.bookrevue.com/localauthors.html


Saturday, April 6, 2013

BEING HAPPY IS HARD

I have been noticeably absent from blogging lately because I have been dying a slow, painful death. It's been a few weeks and I've kept that secret to myself, but now, I'm finally ready to announce it to the world:

"Hello, my name is CF Winn, and I am a mortalaholic."
 


Now, while I know that death is inevitable, there is no guarantee that the dying period we call life is going to be a cakewalk. That is all up to the individual, and sometimes...no, most times, when it comes to that, the majority of us are dumb as a box of rocks. Even me. As far as I am concerned, I've been a vegetable for the past few weeks.

I know you're all shocked. How could the fun, frisky blogger you've all come to depend on for life advice have fallen so hard, so fast?

I'm not sure that I have the answer to that, but I can tell you that recently I came close to slipping back into the jaws of corporate America, where working hard and barely making ends meet has been the mantra of the common-folk since about 2006.

Sadly, once I started back up again, I was hooked. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't stop. Here was an opportunity to make money, so I had to suck it up and just do it...but at what cost?

None of my bills disappeared and I was so miserable, that I was moody and began overeating. Almost ten pounds and a few screaming matches later, I remembered why I was so happy when my hours were cut at my job a few months ago.

Every so often, my very talented blogger friend, +Stacey Roberts, temporarily hibernates, stating mortality as his reason: "Yes I find my mortality quite frustrating. There are times when I wish I'd enjoyed more of my misspent youth. When you total up all the reasons my books haven't been written, or why the hot girl I liked in high school (who was willing, BT dubs) wasn't sullied, the excuses make me sound like a little girl. With the attendant fear that I may not do any better with the time I have left."
                                                                                               

Well my friend, I have a treat for you. Not only have I come out of my funk, but your favorite #hashnag (Hock mit chynek) is back. I am officially turning your own words on you. In list form. With links to your comedic posts.

Readers, please click on the colorful words if any of the references are unclear while I unleash my take on the Staceyisms I have come to know and love.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying that you have to follow this advice. I'm just saying that if you're going for greatness, the moonwalk is not going to cut it.

 
 Five Reasons To Do What You Love According To 

1.Red Onions and Unwashed Produce Will Take You Far

Carol, his mom, had it right when she said, "SSStace...when it's your time to go, it's your time to go." She may end up dying of the arsenic poisoning or bad breath, but no matter what, things will end on her terms.
So many of us spend time worrying about the rules and we're not even the ones that made them up! Where's the fun in that? And worse yet, whose life do we end up living?
In the spirit of Stacey's love of lists, compile your own, make sure it reflects you and your beliefs, and then commit to it.

2.Girls Are Weird

I can't speak for all girls, but I can speak for girls like me. We are weird. We like substance more than surface. We like guys who are happy...joy is a strong aphrodisiac...I kid you not. Anyone who is using is my kind of addict. Boys who smile and go for their dreams SHOULD apply here...I'm just sayin'.
When you walk in a room, your very presence should scream, "Honeychild, I'm (insert your name here), What?!"




3. It's Time To Take Off The Sundress and Urine Soaked Panties...

...but keep on the frilly hat and never stop giggling like a little schoolgirl. In other words, stop being afraid and have fun!


4.It Worked For Jesus

This would not be a post powered by the spirit of Stacey if I did not include at least one stab at an historical reference. This is so not my forte, but here goes:
If Jesus had listened to the Devil when he tried to deter him from his true path, what would've become of us Goyims? One person's effort can have a tremendous impact on everyone.
Satan promised that if Jesus followed him, he'd live a luxurious life and never die...when we slave away at the American Dream, we do so with similar beliefs, but in reality our souls die...slowly and painfully while our bodies live on until they are riddled with regret and despair and the stench of unrealized goals...get the picture? 

Hologramming dead celebrities is becoming a thing. If we could hologram Jesus, he'd be like, "Seriously? I fasted and overcame temptation so you could stuff yourself with Xanax and live like zombies? Dude, I passed on the bread even though I was starving! WTF?"

5.Gratitude

I wrote this post in traffic. At red lights. Longhand. In my mileage log that I use for tax purposes. Doing what I loved made my stop and go, forty-five minute ride, seem like a fifteen minute party in my head.

In honor of appreciating the fact that I can do what I love, even when I'm doing something I may not love so much, I will add a short sub list:

a. "Men are weird. Most of the time they don’t want what they have, to make room for the equally ridiculous fact that they really want what they can’t have."-Stacey Roberts
b."Your approach is spot-on. Be Imperial about it." - Stacey Roberts
c."I love lists! Especially nested lists!" - Stacey Roberts
d.That awkward moment when you realize that your sub list is meaningless, but you post it anyway...see Reason #1...my blog, my rules, my life... #TheEnd



 CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a hilarious group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor's office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States.


You can now order SUKI in paperback at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com or by calling (631) 271-1442.
Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE http://www.bookrevue.com/localauthors.html