ODE TO AN ORANGE

Who knew that there are so many ways to eat one orange and that all of them combined could sum up my present state of mind? I peel a piece and suck it slowly, lazily, savoring the sweet tangy flavor, feeling like anything is possible and that there is no need to rush.

Breaking off another section, I wolf it down, greedily wanting more, hardly able to control myself, aware that there is so much to experience.

Drawing every bit of juice out of the next, I work hard to make sure no liquid is left, not because I like the taste, or even how it drips down my fingers and on to my arms, but just because I can. It makes me feel powerful, and as a result, like I have finally regained control over some part of my life.

The scent of an orange is fresh and natural. I have just showered, but the citrus smell overpowers my shampoo, my soap, and I find myself hesitating before I wash my hands. For the next few minutes, as I write this, whenever I notice myself slipping into self doubt, sadness, or even anger at the kids for breaking my reverie, I sniff my fingertips and I'm thrust back into the present. The scent reminds me of times past, of a healthier, more confident woman with her whole life still ahead of her, while simultaneously instilling hope for the bright future of a mature mother, still very much a woman, and just as strong; maybe stronger than before.

Who knew that being with an orange for 10 minutes could change someone's life? It makes me wonder: If a seemingly meaningless fruit holds so much potential, what are we (who, at times, fling cruel thoughts of self hatred at our inner child) capable of?


 CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a hilarious group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor's office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States.

You can now order SUKI in paperback at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com or by calling (631) 271-1442.
Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE http://www.bookrevue.com/localauthors.html

THE BEAT OF THE RAIN

I mistook the rain for my heartbeat until the sky lit up and the gentle drizzle picked up speed. Instantly, its rhythm resembled a sprinter, not a being fully embraced in serenity.

My forehead felt cool against the glass. I stared through the drops, dazzled by how easily they became stunning kaleidoscopes, nature’s gift for the truly blessed. When my eyelids began to droop, I knew that I was at peace. My lashes overlapped, and I rested, as my soul succumbed to nature’s melody.

Used with permission from Microsoft

He crept up behind me and gently wrapped his arms around my waist, never disturbing my reverie, but instead becoming part of it. Soft lips rested on my shoulders and my head leaned comfortably on his chest. I immersed myself in his musky essence. Our breathing converged, and eventually kept time with the melodious pattering on the roof above.

Trails of liquid on the picture window became glistening sequins, dancing in the spotlight created by the candle on the table behind us.

He adorned the top of my head with butterfly kisses and caressed my bare arms. Goose bumps tickled me, and I shivered as I twisted around in his arms. I brushed my lips on his, puckering only slightly as I continued past his mouth and traced the muscles along his cheek toward his ear.

When he pulled away, I was surprised.

We had only separated for a moment before he hugged me gently and whispered, “You are so beautiful”, a secret he had just then found the courage to reveal.

I smiled and snuggled into him, knowing that even if we shared the same skin I wouldn’t be able to get close enough.

I loosened my embrace to kiss him fully on the lips. My hands cupped his chin and cheeks, my need to be one with him growing strong. As if on cue, the rain applauded our union by creating the perfect background music.

******************

That, my sweet, perfect angel, is how you were conceived.

It’s the tale I choose to tell as I cradle you gently on my lap, in my wheelchair. It’s the same story I tell myself when I want to forget how jagged and cold the cement felt against the back of my head when it was slammed hard, then rubbed raw and bloody.

The rain I amorously recount almost lulls me into a dreamless sleep, never pounding my face and catching in my eyes the way it did when I dared to peek and see if the massive stranger that had tackled me was finished beating and violating my crumpled body.

I will repeat it to you over and over again, praying that one day, if you find out the truth, you will believe that despite my broken spine and visible scars, I will never regret the attack that blessed me with you. Your presence is as exquisite as the story I tell, the gift a random rapist never intended to bestow on me, but for which I will nevertheless be eternally grateful for.


CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a hilarious group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor's office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States.

You can now order SUKI in paperback at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com or by calling (631) 271-1442.
Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE http://www.bookrevue.com/localauthors.html

Hoy Es Chocolate Chip

Once a week for one hour, I used to teach preschoolers basic Spanish. I did  it for five years and the teachers at the school were appreciative. From 1pm-2pm on Thursdays, they got a well deserved break, and the kids in their classes were offered the opportunity to learn how to annoy adults in another language.

I had twenty-five students from many different backgrounds. Some were African American or West Indian, some were mature for their age, some were gifted and some, not so much. But I loved teaching these kids. Every week, somebody learned something, and every week, there was a new story to tell.

For example, one day, my ADD girl, Erin, decided to unbutton her shirt while I was teaching. We weren't doing clothing like last year when Michael, a twin, drew genitals on the androgynous body form we were supposed to be dressing.(His sister, Laura, had the same idea and drew breasts on her paper...damn twin telepathy)

This time, we were going over the alphabet. When she did it, Erin went up to her regular teacher and complained that she didn't know how to button back up. Her teacher said, "Oh no. You got yourself into this mess, now you can get yourself out." Erin is one of my gifted students, but without something to keep her occupied, we lose her. Little did we all know what not getting her clothes straightened out would lead to.

She stomped away from her teacher, frustrated that she wasn't going to get any help,but she plopped down silently in the middle of the kids on the rug. I continued the lesson. I turned my back and pointed to the letter "H". Erin screamed at the top of her lungs, "HACHE!". I spun around quickly and saw her raise both of her hands in triumph but almost choke on her shirt, which was now around her neck like a scarf. Both arms were out of the sleeves and she wasn't wearing an undershirt. I made eye contact with her teacher as Erin was airlifted out of the group and her look clearly said, "You're welcome."

Score one for education in America. No one gets left behind.

Little Michael only spoke Polish. I managed to break through slightly and teach him the phrase, "Me llamo". He also had ADD. The same day, after the Erin incident, I had him sit with me as I struggled to continue teaching. Every once in a while, just so I wouldn't lose him, I would ask him questions. I'd say,"Michael, cual es la fecha de hoy?" He was very enthusiastic as he yelled, "ME LLAMO MICHAEL!" in my ear. (I have to admit,that was a far better answer than the kid who responded "Chocolate Chip", when I asked the same question.)

Most of the time he fidgeted. I put him on my lap so I could control his movements a little better. He faced the class, but his back was to me. Eventually, he started trying to kick a little boy in the face that was sitting in front of us. And someone in the back of the room informed me that Michael was picking his nose every time I wasn't holding his hands to keep him from grabbing the decorations off of the wall.

With fifty minutes still left, and the teachers off to the side eating a snack and gossiping, Nicholas sat in between ten kids coughing up a lung. No one ever moved him out of the crowd.

By the time I got home, I felt like I needed a bath. What's the Spanish for Valium?


 CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a hilarious group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor's office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States.

You can now order SUKI in paperback at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com or by calling (631) 271-1442.
Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE http://www.bookrevue.com/localauthors.html