Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Write Tips: The MILF Factor

Every school yard has one...the single mother. The MILF.

She's easily identified as the pretty young thing that sashays onto the blacktop wearing tight, revealing clothes. She flirts with all of the dads. She's a threat, waiting for the perfect moment to bed as many husbands as possible.

Writers! Ready to take pen to the paper?

YAWN!

Write Tip #1:Don't Stereotype

That woman is the typical mid life crisis, wet dream kind of story...exciting, but only to the guy who wakes up having to wash his sheets the next day. The MILF fantasy from the perspective of the horny guy and the jealous wife is predictable on and off the pages.

Take a look:

Today, a man phone-tapped his wife on Z-100. He had Danielle Monaro pose as the notorious single mother and call to ask if said man would "swing by her house and put a shelf up". The wife was not happy. She called her husband and sarcastically bestowed on him the title of, "Friendly Guy of the Year". She informed Danielle that she felt comfortable speaking for all of the mothers at school by saying that Danielle had overstepped by taking her hubby up on his offer to "give her a hand if she ever needed it".

And there you have it.

The stereotypic response to a woman who calls this couple's house and DOESN'T hang up when the wife answers. They have an entire conversation, and the big bad single mother states that she isn't looking to sleep with the woman's husband. Shockingly, the wife doesn't believe her.

Then the husband admits to having regular dialogue with this woman and to offering her assistance, but still, his agenda must be to sneak around and have an affair.

Snooze, cat nap, deep sleep...

Wifey also addressed the single mom's wardrobe. She said she comes to pick up her kids with her boobs falling out. Wow! Wardrobe malfunctions at the elementary school! Where do THEY live?

Let's jump out of crazy jealous Wifey's head, and into one of a sane person.

Has anyone who's ever gotten a boob job done it with the intention of hiding them behind high necked, loosely fitting clothes? Most teens and twenty somethings, or even those that look like them, show it as long as they can, fearing in the back of their minds that one day they may not have it to show anymore.

Juices should be flowing...inching over into another perspective...wait for it...

Why is this woman single?

Write Tip #2: Build the character.

Is she divorced? Is she a widow? Was she never married but left alone to raise her baby-daddy's kids?

Suddenly, this threat is a human being with some depth.

Would a woman in any one of these situations feel so bad that she might feel she needs a little attention just to get through the day? Maybe it's not YOUR HUSBAND she's after, but an anonymous glance.

And here's one to chew on: Did she dress that way, not for your husband, but for the guy at work she's interested in? And she doesn't have time to change before picking up the kids?

I was that single mother.

I had three kids and didn't look like it. Blessed with good genes, I looked ten years younger than my actual age. I wasn't willing to dress in the standard sweatpants and t-shirt uniform I so often see at school pickups. I was working multiple jobs and feeling bad about the situation my kids and I were in. I knew that if I let myself go completely, I'd never recover. When someone was nice enough to say "Hello" to me, I certainly wasn't going to be rude or turn down adult conversation.
Not A MILF. Just A Mom.

WRITE TIP #3: Perspective

From the perspective of this single mother, I spent a long time mourning the loss of partnership...not looking for it. When I was finally ready to get back out there, I wasn't looking for a guy who was already taken, or one with kids. I already had three.

I would have loved it if someone would have shown me some kindness by offering to help me out with anything. I didn't have the time, energy or know-how to do many of the things that needed to get done. If a man would have come to help and brought his wife along, maybe she and I could have been friends. I would have been so grateful because being the single girl can be awfully lonely and isolating at times.

On behalf of MILFs everywhere, do we want your husbands, the middle aged, beer bellied, balding guys we see at the schoolyard?

Write Tip #4: Take The Plot Less Traveled

There are often many sides to a story, and exploring them can mean writing the next great hit.


CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a quirky group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States. 




You can now order SUKI in paperback at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE. 



CF Winn is the founder of Winning! Publications, a firm specializing in editing and promotion services for authors. Her latest project is the just released Trailer Trash, With a Girl’s Name, a hilarious and heartwarming story of a boy saddled with a girl’s name and forced into a nomadic existence. Order it now: http://www.amazon.com/Trailer-Trash-With-Girls-Name-ebook/dp/B00IX0MIAO 

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Ding Dong The Ghostie's Here!

Anyone who knows me has heard stories about the ghosts that visit me from time to time.

I don't think that Ghosthunters from the Syfy channel will be setting up shop in my living room anytime soon, but we've had our share of strange events.

Sometimes a loved one is still looking out and leaves messages for us at just the right time.

A few years ago, while I was still married, an ex love passed away. I was flattered to learn that he was thinking of me on Valentine's Day, even in death. Without giving up too many details, he opened all of the cabinet doors in my kitchen and turned all of the pictures around on the walls in my hallway.



My then-husband discovered the Valentine's visit as I slept and he snuck into the house with a single red rose for me. Unfortunately, my ex's stunt upstaged my husband's romantic gesture, but in the end, I knew exactly why he had chosen to reach out from beyond the grave.

And sometimes, I think they just like to have fun with us.

A few months later, I was leaving the house with my son Max, a friend of Max's, and my daughter, Bella. My other daughter, Ali, was (as most teenagers are on the weekends) still in bed.

The boys went out the door and straight to the car. Bellie and I walked out together. I held the door for her and as she stepped over the threshold, we heard a doorbell from within the house.

Bella loves to ring our doorbell a million times for no reason, so of course I accused her of doing it although I knew better.

She screamed, "OMG Mom! You saw me walk right past it!"
She was right.
I asked the boys if they had rung it really quickly when they went out. They looked at me like I was crazy before answering in the negative.
I knew it wasn't them.
I called in to the house, "Hey Ali! Did you just hear the doorbell?"  
She answered, "Yes."
"Did it sound like our doorbell normally sounds?" I asked.
"No, it didn't," she answered, and Bella nodded in agreement next to me.

My doorbell makes a high pitched DING DONG noise. The sound we heard was a low DING only.

It's all about priorities.

If we hadn't been in a rush to get some McGriddles and Starbucks, I might have invited our visitor in to haunt us some more, but instead I closed the door and locked it - maybe whoever it was could figure out how to get Ali up so she could join us in the land of the living.


Check out a sneak peek from my latest book, HAUNTED HOUSE...HAUNTED LIFE, which was inspired by real events like this one: http://simplystick.blogspot.com/2014/10/haunted-house-haunted-life.html



CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a quirky group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States. 


You can now order SUKI in paperback at http://hopress-shorehousebooks.com/cf-winn/  or at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE. 


CF Winn is the founder of Winning! Publications, a firm specializing in editing and promotion services for authors. Her latest project is the just released Trailer Trash, With a Girl’s Name, a hilarious and heartwarming story of a boy saddled with a girl’s name and forced into a nomadic existence. Order it now: http://www.amazon.com/Trailer-Trash-With-Girls-Name-ebook/dp/B00IX0MIAO