Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Write Tips: The MILF Factor

Every school yard has one...the single mother. The MILF.

She's easily identified as the pretty young thing that sashays onto the blacktop wearing tight,revealing clothes. She flirts with all of the dads. She's a threat, waiting for the perfect moment to bed as many husbands as possible.

Yeah baby! Ready to take pen to the paper?

YAWN!

Write Tip #1:Don't Stereotype

That's a typical mid life crisis, wet dream kind of story...exciting, but only to the guy who wakes up having to wash his sheets the next day. The MILF fantasy from the perspective of the horny guy and the jealous wife is predictable on and off the pages.

Take a look:

Today, a man phone-tapped his wife on Z-100. He had Danielle Monaro pose as the notorious single mother and call to ask if said man would "swing by her house and put a shelf up". The wife was not happy. She called her husband and sarcastically bestowed on him the title of, "Friendly Guy of the Year". She informed Danielle that she felt comfortable speaking for all of the mothers at school by saying that Danielle had overstepped by taking her hubby up on his offer to "give her a hand if she ever needed it".

And there you have it.

The stereotypic response to a woman who calls this couple's house and DOESN'T hang up when the wife answers. They have an entire conversation, and the big bad single mother states that she isn't looking to sleep with the woman's husband. Shockingly, the wife doesn't believe her.

Then the husband admits to having regular dialogue with this woman and to offering her assistance, but still, his agenda must be to sneak around and have an affair.

Snooze, cat nap, deep sleep...

Wifey also addressed the single mom's wardrobe. She said she comes to pick up her kids with her boobs falling out. Wow! Wardrobe malfunctions at the elementary school! Where do THEY live?

Let's jump out of crazy jealous Wifey's head, and into one of a sane person.

Has anyone who's ever gotten a boob job done it with the intention of hiding them behind high necked, loosely fitting clothes? Most teens and twenty somethings, or even those that look like them, show it as long as they can, fearing in the back of their minds that one day they may not have it to show anymore.

Juices should be flowing...inching over into another perspective...wait for it...

Why is this woman single?

Write Tip #2: Build the character.

Is she divorced? Is she a widow? Was she never married but left alone to raise her baby-daddy's kids?

Suddenly, this threat is a human being with some depth.

Would a woman in any one of these situations feel so bad that she might feel she needs a little attention just to get through the day? Maybe it's not YOUR HUSBAND she's after, but an anonymous glance.

And here's one to chew on: Did she dress that way, not for your husband, but for the guy at work she's interested in? And she doesn't have time to change before picking up the kids?

I was that single mother.

I had three kids and didn't look like it. Blessed with good genes, I looked ten years younger than my actual age. I wasn't willing to dress in the standard sweatpants and t-shirt uniform I so often see at school pickups. I was working multiple jobs and feeling bad about the situation my kids and I were in. I knew that if I let myself go completely, I'd never recover. When someone was nice enough to say "Hello" to me, I certainly wasn't going to be rude or turn down adult conversation.
Not A MILF. Just A Mom.

WRITE TIP #3: Perspective

From the perspective of this single mother, I spent a long time mourning the loss of partnership...not looking for it. When I was finally ready to get back out there, I wasn't looking for a guy who was already taken, or one with kids. I already had three.

I would have loved it if someone would have shown me some kindness by offering to help me out with anything. I didn't have the time, energy or know-how to do many of the things that needed to get done. If a man would have come to help and brought his wife along, maybe she and I could have been friends. I would have been so grateful because being the single girl can be awfully lonely and isolating at times.

On behalf of MILFs everywhere, do we want your husbands, the middle aged, beer bellied, balding guys we see at the schoolyard?

Write Tip #4: Take The Plot Less Traveled

There are often many sides to a story, and exploring them can mean writing the next great hit.


CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a quirky group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States. 




You can now order SUKI in paperback at BOOK REVUE, one of the nation’s largest independent bookstores, by email at info@bookrevue.com Learn more about SUKI at BOOK REVUE. 



CF Winn is the founder of Winning! Publications, a firm specializing in editing and promotion services for authors. Her latest project is the just released Trailer Trash, With a Girl’s Name, a hilarious and heartwarming story of a boy saddled with a girl’s name and forced into a nomadic existence. Order it now: http://www.amazon.com/Trailer-Trash-With-Girls-Name-ebook/dp/B00IX0MIAO 

10 comments:

Dawn Brazil said...

Great post. LOL I'm married with three kids but I like to look good too and I get the occassional look "How dare she look like that" when I go to the kids school.

Christina Fifield-Winn said...

Thanks for stopping by Dawn.
Good for you. I wish you many blessings and a long career of "looking good." Wouldn't the world be a very different place if we all wished each other well?
In terms of writing, I think that the most interesting stories are the one that have actually happened because they are sometimes so unbelievable. I love being left with that shocked, "I never would have imagined that" type of feeling.

Dawn Brazil said...

Christina, I totally agree with you. I love stories that leave me shocked - something I didn't see coming.

Hey I'm having a sleepover at my blog and I invited you. LOL, Yeah we're not too old for those yet!!!

Thea Atkinson said...

BooYa! great post. Never EVER thought of blogging about the MILF factor.

Robbie Cox said...

Never go with the typical, I agree. Everyone has a story and the fun part about writing is to uncover that story. Great post, Christina!

Stacey Roberts said...

I am absolutely opposed to scantily-clad MILFs parading around my kids' elementary schools. Oh, wait. No, I'm not. Great post!

Christina Fifield-Winn said...

I agree Robbie...I think we might need to uncover YOUR story...

Christina Fifield-Winn said...

Thanks Stacey! I wonder what your mother's Yiddish name might be for my people...

Anonymous said...

I recently joined the MILF club and having been naturally gifted in the chest department I am not one to run and hide them. I have always been shocked by the faces that others give while the ladies are on display and they chose to wear the plain white tshirt and sweatshorts. Why can't we all lose the judgement?

Christina Fifield-Winn said...

I say congratulations to you and the "ladies". Be who you are MILF sister...maybe we were put here to eradicate judgement. CHEERS! *clink* Thanks for stopping by and commenting!